


Something Funny

by Marshtz



Series: Something Funny [1]
Category: Homestuck
Genre: Anal Plug, Anal Sex, Blow Jobs, Crossdressing, Crossdressing Kink, Fathertime, M/M, Rimming
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-03-24
Updated: 2013-03-23
Packaged: 2017-12-06 07:06:31
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 905
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/732812
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Marshtz/pseuds/Marshtz
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>John and Dave have been friends for a long time. When they webcam for the first time, they each catch a glimpse of the other's guardians. Suddenly, the plan to meet in person pops up, and the two young boys are really excited, but perhaps not to meet each other.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Something Funny

[ALL CAPS WILL BE MY NOTES. THIS FIRST CHAPTER IS SHORT AND SHITTY AND SFW. SORRY.]

"Dude are you kidding me? This isn't even remotely funny. Dude, you're wasting my time which is ironic because I used to have shitloads of time." Dave groaned again as he sat back in his chair, looking at the webcam. He had been a bit nervous, for reasons to be revealed, and John had noticed something was up. Dave, being John's best friend and therefore having his best interest in mind, attempted to cheer Dave up with a series of terrible jokes and "funny" faces. It worked for the most part, but Dave was still obviously tense. John rolled his eyes.

"Well _maybe_ if you just fucking told me what's going on, I could help you Dave!" Dave bit his bottom lip, a terrible habit he received from skyping Jade far to often. She always bit her lip. "I mean to say," John continued, pushing up his glasses that were slowly sliding from his nose. "We used to play a game were we all died and everybody we loved died. But we are back to normal dude. What could be worse than Lord English?"

"Yeah... I mean I guess you're right. And you did have that relationship with Karkat for a bit... so since I didn't laugh at you for that-"

"Hey!" John protested, turning red. Dave chuckled and continued to speak.

"Well, you promise you'll be cool with it?" John winked and smiled. Dave nodded his head, then held up his right index finger, telling John to wait for a minute. He then stood up and walked towards the closet. Once the blonde teenager opened the door, he slipped his record shirt off and threw it to the ground. He continued to strip until he was butt naked. He sighed, and put his shades gently on a nearby shelf, turning to his one pink dress that reminded him of Madoka's magical girl dress. He smiled nervously, his heart racing in his chest as he slipped the dress on as well as the matching underwear. He looked into the mirror as he slipped his shades back on and breathed for a couple of minutes. Dave gulped loudly and then bounced in front of the webcam.

Before an ironic "ta-da" escaped from his mouth, he caught the eye of the man who must have been John's father. The man certainly fit john's description. Salt and peppered hair, covered with a hat of course. Add on the white button up shit and smooth ironed white pants... and oh lord Mr. Egbert worked out. Dave didn't realize how long he was staring until Mr. Egbert smiled, nodded and walked out of the frame. John shouted a muffled "Daaaad!" and sat in his wooden computer chair, huffing. He was still not looking at Dave as he was mumbling an apology.

"Dude," Dave snapped impatiently, getting John to look at the computer screen. His blue eyes shot far wider than Dave figured they could possibly go.

"Uh, I didn't mean to sound angry... are you.. okay?" Dave coughed uncomfortably.

"This will sound odd but could you stand up and twirl?" John, too, had the habit of biting his lower lip.

Dave furrowed his brow, but then after some silence realized John was serious and complied with his best bro's request. He then proceeded to sit down.

"Wowie. You are one fine girl." John giggled.

"I'm still.. I still consider myself a dude just... I like... dresses." Dave turned red.

"Nothing to be embarrassed ab- wait you live in Texas. Ha, uhhh, that sucks man!" John frowned.

"If my brother knew he'd probably kick me ou-" Suddenly Dave's door opened and Bro flashstepped behind Dave.

"Nah, lil man. I knew about it since you bought the dress. I'm not an idiot. Anyways, sup Egderp!" John frowned and his heart seemed to skip a beat. 

"Don't call me that!" John pouted while assessing the fine collar bone shown from Bro.

"Ahhh sorry bout that lil dude," Bro smiled. Dave looked at Bro, hoping the shock would be hidden from behind his shades.

"Don't be surprised lil brother." _Well so much for that._ "I mean I do have control over your debit card statements sooo you know. I kinda knew. I like it though. It might make a good new kink on my website." Dave groaned. Bro chuckled and looked at John.

"Hey, has Dave told you bout my business yet?" John turned red.

"Uh, well... yes I su... suppose.."

"Don't worry," Dave smirked. "John has a hard time with anything sexual. He's a..." Dave suddenly put on a very serious face. " _virgin_." Bro gasped and chuckled. 

"Well anyways kids, you two have fun. I just wanted to know what you want for dinner Dave." Bro looked at Dave expectantly. 

"Cheese pizza," Dave nodded and Bro left.

"Oh," Dave turned to John. "So watcha think?" John shrugged.

"I'm cool with it and it seemed like my Dad di-" John cut off mid-sentence, straightening up and eyes widening again. Suddenly John squealed and hopped up and down for a bit. "Oh my god! Daaaaaaaave!"

"What. Dude. Cool your jets. They are all, flying over the place and shit."

"Shut up. Dude you guys should come up here. I would go down to Texas buuuut you guys are loaded and we aren't." Dave shrugged. 

"I'll ask Bro about it."


End file.
